Don't Let Me Down

I have been in Europe for eight days and I am starting to feel semi-comfortable.  My mom left today to go back to the states and for a second I thought, "Autumn, what the hell did you get yourself into this time?" and then I thought, "OK. Mr. Lennon, just you and me now.  Don't let me down."  and then I stopped thinking.  Naturally, I still love everything about Liverpool, I just wish there were people here that I knew. Besides, you know, the Beatles. Where I am living now is right near Mendips and Penny Lane... you may be familiar.  I'm a bit more anxious?  than I thought I would be.  There are little things that are seeming so much bigger to me because I do not have any ounce of control over the little things that I am used to having control over... like having ranch dressing and an iPhone and my mom and brother five minutes away. You know the little things.  I am sure all of this will pass... so big deal if I dreamed that I had 5 sweet and sour sauces in front of me and woke up to realize I will not taste that for a long long time?  I am already starting to enjoy Liverpool's Dr. Pepper... even though it is not made of 23 flavors and the bottle def doesn't claim it is.  But it will do for now.  If anyone believes they are going to come visit me, please include Dr. Pepper, Sweet and Sour Sauce, and Ranch Dressing in your luggage.

I am already growing insanely fond of the Liverbird.  It's a mythical creature that is all over the city (and when I say all over I mean like we have street signs and oh  there aren't that many streets sign here btw).  The story of the bird goes something like this (have no fear I will muck it up) but there are two birds on the Liver building (aka as L.V.) one female and one male.  The female watches over Mersey River to make sure all the sailors come home safely and the male bird faces the city and makes sure that all the bars are open on time... but I bet it's really to make sure that the city is safe. I guess it's common to see the words "You'll Never Walk Alone"  along with the bird.  Either way, I love this bird already and ink might be required.






My dorm isn't bad.  I mean it's small compared to the size of my room at my old apartment but I bet there are endless opportunities here (that sounds dirty but it's not).  The kitchen isn't something beautiful but it's really what should be expected for a dorm.  Where do I think I am? the palace?

Yesterday, when everyone from the tour group was still here, Charles got us into the town hall which is a big deal because normally people aren't allowed to be where we were...  which is right here...


The balcony that was never meant for common people, like the Beatles, to be on. Prior to the four boys going on there it was only meant for royalty.   Well, we were on that balcony yesterday.  I think that is pretty cool.  There were many group pictures taken... I'll get one up as soon as one is available because I lost my camera charger somewhere between Scranton and Liverpool.  Who knows what I did with it.   But yeah the building was awesome and just freaking beautiful.  We were pretty flipping lucky that we got to go into the building!

Watch this ... 
seven minutes in heaven
At 2:35ish you can see them on the balcony.   The some facts in the video are wrong but it's pretty good!


I went to the Cavern Club last night and I tried to take in the reality of the situation.  I don't think I think about it often because I just gets complicated and bizarre (Cue mom singing "How Bizarre" in my head). But when I think about when I first met the Beatles I never imagined it would go this far!  I have to take a second and realize how far I have come in my life to get me where I am and just whisper a thank you to the universe for sending my family and friends and even strangers that have helped me along my way.  The reality of the situation took my breath away in the sweltering Cavern Club as my mom, Charles, and I were watching the last show of Beatle Week last night.  It's amazing how four boys from Liverpool really changed the world. Like them or not, you cannot deny that fact.  And if you try to I can produce evidence that separates the facts from your opinion.

I just got off of Skype with Liz and I am feeling way better than I did when I started this. I know it's going to be a totally scary couple of weeks but I already have one friend and two are on their way from the states shortly even though they are at different schools.  Today, someone who knows me pretty well said "Do you think you bit off more than you can chew?"  and I timidly squeaked, "I always do."   However, it dawned on me that, even though I do always bite off more than I can chew, I never choke.  That is the important part my friends.  Chew fast!  Chew thoroughly! Chew well!  Someone should make that a t-shirt.

I can't lie! When my mom and Charles left with the rest of the group (really they should've stayed some parents they are ;)  )  I was certain that I would be getting my bags from school and just following right behind them.  But I didn't!  I never thought that it would be easy to leave everything I ever knew (and my momma) I didn't expect it to be this hard but I think that technology will totally help that. Last year, I felt like belonged here.  And who runs away from acceptance?!

So tonight I shall leave you with these wise words:

"It's going to be hard tomorrow and it's going to be hard the next day.  So what?  It's better to have it hard than to not have it at all."  - Lennon.

She's Leaving Home...

So... this is my last night in Scranton, Pennsylvania for a while.  It's bittersweet.  I am so excited to leave.  I just wish it was closer to home or some people could come with me.  But I guess that is not what spreading your wings is all about now is it? It's been interesting to watch everyone's (including my own) reaction as the time gets closer.  Today, I said goodbye to my very best friend, Liz and it wasn't as hard as I expected we just said see ya later and that was that. However, saying g'bye to mama and brother bear will be much more difficult, I'm afraid. 

So... yeah it's weird to know I am not going to be around next Sunday or for Halloween, Christmas, or Fratelli's Mondays.  I am terrifed that I am making a mistake (and wasting time and money) but I guess it's a chance I'll have to take.  Hopefully, this whole experience will make me a  better person and maybe I can finally start leaving the past behind... but I guess that is a contradictory idea (does that make sense) since the Beatles are like super-old.  But the way I see it, I will never know if I don't try. I mean seriously, who hasn't made a mistake ever at all before in their life?  It probably wouldn't be as terrifying if I didn't have so much doubt in my mind but I just have to stop listening to those people and start listening to you people. 

So... also already have ideas of what I want to do when I get home to stay. It involves more schooling (I mean come on with this many college credits I might as well go for a PhD.) BUT it also includes a job. I just have to choose a location.  Boston?  Philly?  NYC?  Those are my choices.  But you never know,  I might end up writing an awesome book that turns into something better than twilight and just laughing at the sky.

So... keep in touch with me via Facebook: www.facebook.com/autumnrose23 email: thegirlwithkaleidoscopeeyes23@gmail.com , or skype: autumn.rose.23 or if I am cool enough for you to have my phone number send me a text.  I won't answer you because it costs money but I'll def get a hold of you that way eventually. 


So... to everyone I wasn't able to see before I go (why) I am sorry that we missed each other.  And to everyone else... I'll see you when I see you.

Love you all! 

There's A Place...

Well, friends, I am on my way!   I have been issued a visa, which gives the first British citizen I see the finest example of my wonderful hair.  I leave August 22 at 11:00ish from JFK. I'll land in London on August 23 with my mom.  We will spend two days there then head over to Liverpool by way of Henley Village where Debbie will stay with me for a few days. Then Mama Chmil comes back stateside August 31ish and I will stay there until May 30. I think over Christmas break I will go to Greece and maybe for St. Patrick's Day, I'll swim over to Ireland. Rumor has it that it's pretty easy to get to Paris and any pretty much anywhere over Europe once you're in Europe. That will be wild.   Might as well do as much as I can while I am over there. Maybe even meet a nice bloke with bad teeth that I can bribe to come to America in search of a good dentist and orthodontist, I won't let him know I have connections until he is on U.S. soil... with a diamond.  chuckles.

So yeah, it's super that I got my visa. That would have been a true bummer if I wasn't allowed to live there.  The goodbye bash was this last Saturday night. It was great to see how many people came out to see me off.  Even visitors from Rhode Island and Florida!  That's a bam.  It's nice to see the people who have supported me through pretty much everything... especially the Rhode Island friend... and continue to support me through this. I'll miss them. Especially when Halloween comes around ! That is my favorite FAVORITE holiday! Scranton stores are starting to put out Halloween displays and I am trying to ignore them. If I was a zillionaire I'd fly home for Halloween and have a party and fly back like I was Britney Spears.   Next time. 

I haven't started to pack yet. That's hysterical. I will start that soon. It's hard to think of what to take when I'll be gone for so long.  My last week of work is this week, that's kind of weird too. It's been a long time since I have left a job without having another job.

Oh and I am also on skype! My name is Autumn.Rose.23   or by email autumnchmil@yahoo.com

find me yo.